Life through the eyes of a 30-something Panda Woman who happens to be Chronically Sick and Disabled.

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Alcohol and me



My relationship with alcohol is long standing. As a young Panda I could drink quite a lot.  I did drink quite a lot on occasions.  In my first week of university I decided not to drink until I’d graduated as a) I was in London, it’s not cheap but mostly b) I commuted to uni by motorbike.  Some people may think it’s ok to have “1 or 2” and drive, I’m not one of them.  I was biker raised to not even ride if you’d had a drink the night before.

I have never had an issue with socialising without alcohol.  I’m perfectly happy in a pub without it.  I am lucky in the regard that I didn’t miss it, in fact I didn’t drink for my whole degree and in the next two years only had 25 drinks in total.

I started drinking on Fridays again about a year into my first “proper job” but not heavily.  When I got sick I cut back to where I am now, special occasions only.  This usually means Yule and my birthday.  Very occasionally I’ll be tempted by cocktails, and I’ll allow myself to drink on holidays (including music festivals).

It was my birthday last week.  I had a small gathering the weekend before where I drank a few glasses of sangria.  The next 3 days I experienced dizziness and assumed this was down to having had wine which I know I’m not hugely tolerant to these days.

Last night I had another small gathering where I managed 2 cocktails before feeling unwell.  Having gotten to sleep I woke up after 3 hours and spent another 3 on the toilet.

I draw the following conclusions:

  1. Alcohol is not my friend
  2. It’s a pay off
  3. It’s not worth drinking out as the cabs cost so much
  4. I don’t really like the effects of alcohol
  5. I gain no enjoyment from being drunk
  6. I wish mocktails were more prevalent

Seriously I would happily go without alcohol for the rest of my life and not miss it.  My weakness for cocktails is flavour based, I hate tasting alcohol.

How does alcohol effect you? Did anyone else’s tolerance change drastically when they became sick?

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